love is crazy:

pretty baby take it real slow, my feelings show.
all you have to do is never ever let it go, my feelings show.

relationships are so complicated.
i think the more relationships you're in, the more complicated the ones to follow are. no matter how much you try and let go of the things in the past, you can't. they follow you.

something i feel like i struggle with in my relationship is trust. mainly, do i trust that he loves me as much as he says he does? that is a huge step. to trust that he does love me and i can give him my whole heart. because if i feel like i can't, i'll give half of my heart, and i'll hold on to the rest for dear life. i tell myself, "if he leaves me i'll be okay" and that part is true. but that just means i have this guard up. i guess i feel like i need that constant reassurance, and i shouldn't. i feel like when i worry, i really worry about nothing. sometimes i feel like i give so much, am i really getting anything in return?

i guess i'll try to stop thinking about it and just let whatever happens happen. be happy in the moment.

i don't like talking about how i feel like this. but i hate leaving it bottled up.

ohhemmgee.

I haven't used xanga in AGES.
Crazy.
But I feel like it's a safe place. Just to come back, write my thoughts, maybe someone will read them, and if not, it's not a big deal.

I don't think I even know how to use this anymore!!!
=/

It's funny how things change over time. How something gets old and something better comes along. People are a lot like that. In the past 2 years I didn't know I could grow so much. Sometimes I really didn't open myself up to it. Sometimes I did. I made a lot of mistakes. A lot. I'm still making some. It's hard. I'm almost done with college but right now I'm trying so hard to just get by. My grandpa had a stroke and is now in the hospital. I've never lost anyone this close to me. It's soo scary. It puts life and family and God in perspective. I'm still struggling.

I'm happy overall. I'm ready to be done with school. I'm ready to move back home for good. I've found that it's hard to be away from my family. I rely on them a lot. Like I never did before. I really need a job and Robbie's sister is helping me out hopefully with that.

Yes I'm back with Robbie. And I don't care what anyone says or thinks about that. So just go away. But I love him. He's just the one that means the whole world to me. We've been through a lot. Tons actually. And we've come so far and it's been hard, but where we are now, it's worth it. We seem to get the other person. I wanna say we are perfect for eachother and we are, but I mean, who really is?

I bounced around a lot, but there's no real way to catch you up with me. Haha, I said I'd try and write on here. We'll see.
=D

Until next time.

Currently Listening One Girl Revolution By Saving Jane Supergirl see related

Frustration

Frustration: a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.

This is how college makes me feel.
Ughhh.

Does anyone still use this anymore??
It's like, ancient!!!!!!

=]

myyyspace rulllesssss

i love brandon bunnelle.